Moments of Life: Today

It's been my 33 years celebrating Christmas. I am confused. I feel void. There are emptiness in my heart. I have heard lots of people today saying Merry Christmas and I replied back the same words. I knew I have sin. Sin of negligence. I have trusted so much in myself when I know that there is God that I should cling to every time I stumbled and swayed. I depended so much on myself. How pity am I. Now it's Christmas, I have come to realized that I cannot be happy with myself alone. There's so much fault in my paths I have taken. I don't want to take a second glance of my life for the past 10 years. I have worked. yes. But I don't think I have been effective. I got tired of how others work.I make other business my business. Now I have seen my faults. Despite it all I learned that there is still a way to move on. To be different. To be relaxed. God is whispering to me." Go back to yourself." It's not too late.There will be hopes for everyone who seek His righteousness.

I read and go over some blogs and there's something which caught my attention," Heaven is a prepared place for prepared people". I haven't prepared myself yet. I consumed my time and thoughts to trifle matters that could have caused me depression. Most people including me prepared less time nurturing their soul. Have we tried to assess our spiritual aspect. Have we been nice or naughty all through these years? It could take a lifetime to nurture one's soul. It's high time to cleanse it today and remove some of the unwanted weeds that entirely occupied our hearts, our senses. But how?

The answers are probably just along the way. I'll just wait. For the meantime, I want to take this moments to thank God for so many reasons listed below:

For a very understanding husband
For a wonderful child
For my parents who love me always
For my sisters and brothers around
For some good friends who trust in me
For our little room which I consider heaven
For my computer who connects me to everyone
For my salary which has many deductions
For my very simple Samsung cellphone which connects me to those in need
For my gel ink pen which gives me nice handwriting
For this blog which allows me to express myself
For my books all over the corners of our room
For my little brain

I have come over a reading from the Bible about "Spiritual Blindness". Jesus said," If you were blind, then you would not be guilty; but since you claim that you can see, this means that you are still guilty."

I knew I have a perfect eyesight and for now I accept that I am guilty without further arguments. Let tomorrows be a struggle to live a life full of love and thankfulness to God Almighty.

I really am thankful to my husband who had never cease comforting and encouraging me to hold on to my faith, no matter how strong or weak it may be. It's Christmas and so we go for a walk along the city despite the rain, attended mass and have some photo's for souvenirs.